"Good Parent Rules" I Break

Good parents make homemade food and eat together at the dinner table.

I am a good parent, and my children eat anything, anytime, anywhere. Our shared family experiences bring us all joy and happen spontaneously in our day.

Good parents teach their children to behave.

I am a good parent, and my goal is to listen deeply to my children and prioritize our connection. I consider all behavior as communication, and I do not have standards of "good" or "bad" behavior in our home.

Good parents have children who speak to them with respect.

I am a good parent, and my children communicate with me in yelling voices, in anger, in frustration, and in dysregulation. I welcome this communication and all communication.

Good parents make their kids clean up after themselves.

I am a good parent, and I clean up my kids' messes and mistakes. They do it when they can, voluntarily and without prompting, but most of the time, they can't. And that's OK.

Good parents enroll their kids in activities and set up play dates.

I am a good parent, and these expectations are overwhelming to me. We go weeks without play dates. None of my children participate consistently in any extra activities.

Good parents teach their kids to follow through on their commitments.

I am a good parent, and I teach my children to listen to their intuition, to honor themselves and their needs, and to walk away from things that do not serve them.

THE TAKEAWAY

There's not one way to be a good parent. In fact, good parents deliberately and consciously adapt their parenting to the capacities, needs, and strengths of themselves and their children. Good parents break the rules of good parenting out of love and respect for their children. Good parents align with their children and choose connection above all else. Good parenting is not measured in how you follow the social rules. Good parenting is seeing, respecting, and loving the children you have, no matter what.